She learned anatomy when he broke her heart. She liked how she could track the stinging, burning pain as it delved deeper into her. Starting in her throat, a heavy lump that wouldn't move anymore than a cm a day. it would travel through her veins, like back lanes, leaving behind big clouds of exhaust fumes that make her skin tarnish, and her blood thicken. the pain, gets a little stronger. moves a little further. with her bones structure mapped and blown up on the wall across from her bed, she woke up each morning, and closed her eyes. she sat quiet and still with breath held, trying to pinpoint the pain. she'd trace the wall and place a small gold star where is had reached that day. it was quite beautiful really. this skeletal system, scattered with little stars. her own constellation.
it was a realisation that everything can be traced back to her heart. it beats and bleeds and aches and yearns and everything it feels is shot through your synapses and makes each and every part of your body burn and shiver and quake as your heart trembles with the tidal motions. she had to relate everything back to the ocean, somehow it made things seem easier, like one day the rip tides might subside and change, or that all these heartaches are simply storms, and they'll blow over.
it was the birth of a whole new ocean. her body was an island that was stranded in the middle of these rising tides that were filling and consuming and creating islands where they shouldn't be. she learned of loneliness, and how sometimes this is how she felt. she was solitary and stranded and the waves were far too hungry to let anyone come close enough to steal her away from here and bring her back to civilisation. even with her created oceans raging, she'd still wait for these waters to part to be with him. but the waters were deepening by the day, and her weakening, bleached bones are too limp to possibly brave any kind of storm. even the smallest of waves would smash her skeleton like toothpicks.
she could feel the seasons of her body change in much the same way as the waters changed motions with the moon phases. summer had passed and left her skin freckled, and autumn was now leaving her sun kissed skin fragile like the leaves falling from the trees. it was almost like someone was readying her for the coldest winter she would ever face. the stinging was continuing its journey through her system, resting in the deepest recesses of her muscles, making each movement, each breath forced and each breath lacking purpose. she could feel each heartbeat as if it were an earthquake, a heart quake if you will, rattling and shaking her right to her core leaving her falling apart from the inside out. the night it reached the pit of her heart, she gave up tracing it. she knew it wouldn't leave her alone. not any time soon.
there was a storm in her heart. clouds of thick black and greys, whispering threats in the wind to unleash a sea from the clouds. she could feel each wave crash and break a little more bone than the last. she was terrified of what the final crack might release, something had to be hidden, otherwise it wouldn't be trying so hard to split this body of hers open, and spill it all out like a flood. water doesn't always mean life though, because too much, too high and it will all drown and sink to the bottom, or float to the stop. her heart is tied to her with muscle ribbons, and is just waiting for the blue to reach it.