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i don't understand, but i don't need to.I feel like i don't give you the things that matter
i've always prided myself on my ability to conjure stories and
words and at the drop of a hat, and i've spun countless tales
about things that are out of my control and aches and ghosts
and that time we weren't us.
when it comes to you there's never enough.
never enough of anything; words, time or love.
because nothing is enough to sum this all up, and i feel that
this is the best feeling ever and it would lose something
if i could wrap it up in a sentence or a novel
and do it justice
thats what makes this so special
cause i used to think i understood myself
and that i knew i was all over the place and constantly running
to things i wasn't even sure existed.
but you slow me down to a pace where i can see the outlines
of trees and i can breathe again. i keep reaching to grab your
arms or hands or waist to make sure you're still there
cause i'm terrified you'll disappear.
but you're not.
and i'm not.
you should know that i'm not comfort

apparitionits the things that aren't really there that stick in your throat the most.
he had a knack for leaving me for periods at a time, usually in the middle
of the night around when morning wasn't to be seen for miles. i'd wake
up with the bed empty and my voice gone and people asking me things
like, "how long were you together?" as if they hadn't ever known he was
there with me that whole time.
his name was taboo for years. i never even had the courage to manage
the first consonant of him until three years ago; it was slippery as it fell
out of my mouth, almost tugging the whole thing with it. i'd cut it short
just after the "w" and left those who were listening in confusion.
"what did you say there?"
they'd ask.
i was never one to talk of things that i wasn't sure
existed, like god or heaven or him.all of his things were gone the
morning after he would leave, the house and myself gutted of his
existence. who was i to say that he was really there at one point?
"oh, just a stutter," i'd tell

Untitledi know how to make certain parts of my body numb
if i sit on my feet while i type on my laptop
they go to sleep
a heavy sleep
its a rubber bands around my pinky
and its purples and bruises and goes silent
how do i make my heart stop feeling?
I run my hands over icy water,
slapping my face until I'm too numb/
to know if I'm crying or smiling.
The air gets thicker with unnecessary breaths
and I think
"maybe i never felt at all"
maybe its all a master
i know plenty of things that i've been tricked into believing
like good triumps bad
or that the darkness doesn't last forever
but what if i am the exception
theres any exception to everything
right?
maybe thats me, maybe i am the darkness
and as melodramatic as it sounds
theres no way to disprove it
I try to pack up the words into a suitcase
but they never fit
and the moment I step outside,
they expand like an ocean,
tides of terrible dreams and insufficient touches
and all the little things I tried to convince myself
never truly matte

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Submitted: January 2
Image Size: 85.6 KB
Resolution: 612×612

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i say.by =ohsparrowsong

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©2013 =ohsparrowsong

_{2013.
i will wear my glasses EVERY DAY.}

*BladenX Mar 4, 2013

Your eyes are amazing.

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=ohsparrowsong Mar 4, 2013

_{oh, thank you <3}

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*BladenX Mar 4, 2013

You're quite welcome.

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=Sammur-amat Jan 14, 2013 General Artist

You are just so very adorable, stace <3

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~Flummoxative Jan 6, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

You're really cute and the glasses suit you.

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=ohsparrowsong Jan 6, 2013

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*KaitForest Jan 5, 2013 Writer

you're absolutely lovely and i love your frames. they're so nice.

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=ohsparrowsong Jan 5, 2013

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*TouchedBy-AnAngel Jan 3, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

_{Whyyyyyyy are soooooo adorablllleeee!?!?!?! Too much cuteness! *Faints*

+ fave

(You're too cute for me not to fave this, omg.) ;_;}

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=ohsparrowsong Jan 3, 2013

_{awww, you are too kind to me}

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