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January 23
Sta.sh Writer
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it wasn't the same.
they were huddled around the coffee  table, trying to wash away the heaviness with some earl gray warmth  sobbing and shaking and aching together. the whole room was darker than  it had ever been, even with the curtains as open as i could possibly get  them there wasn't enough light in a solar flare to diminish the shadows  that were hanging off them all.

except me.
i pinched myself,  tried to force out the tears myself. nothing. i think they all thought  it didn't bother me, that i was okay with what happened. that made me  mad cause it was the furthest from the truth. i wasn't okay, how dare  they even suggest that. i'm not sure why i wasn't able to break, or why i  felt so much inside and couldn't show an ounce on the outside. but in  some way, it was probably a good thing, cause i probably would have  completely cracked and dissolved into the ground.

oh. but i was good at rage.
i  yelled and screamed at your parents that this was all their fault. they  told you that your anxiety wasn't real, that it was just laziness, and  that you didn't need a counselor anymore. they made you lock your door  in your bedroom. and that door was closer to a coffin lid than they  knew.

they told you in was all in your head, that it wasn't  real, that the lady who would talk you down and out of doing yourself in  was a waste of time, and there were better places their money could be  going. better places than keeping their god damned son alive.
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:iconazazelin:
~azazelin Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
"they told you in was all in your head, that it wasn't real"
my father tells me that all the time and people don't realize how real it can be.
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:icontravelgirlxx:
This is crazy powerful. The emotion punched me in the gut, then knocked me to the ground and kicked me in the ribs.

Dissolution can be so much worse than a break-down :( :tighthug:
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:iconohsparrowsong:
thank you <3
(i think this is permanently unfinished)
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:icontravelgirlxx:
Sometimes unfinished is okay :heart:
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:iconstarshinexx:
~starshinexx Jan 26, 2013  Student Writer
wow. so many thoughts, not nearly enough time to write them all down. So, Ill leave you with this; you are an powerful and inspiring poet and you should be mighty proud of yourself cause everything that comes out of that pretty little mind of yours is something to savor.
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:iconohsparrowsong:
oh, thank you!
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:iconmondays-emblem:
The first paragraph and last sentence are just perfect. :heart:
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:iconohsparrowsong:
thank you <3
(i think its still unfinished, but i'm unsure)
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:iconmondays-emblem:
You're welcome :)

and I know that feeling well. This feels both finished and unfinished as I re-read it. Like you could go on if you wanted, yet this right here could still stand alone. (not that my opinion means much ;))
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