give it up.- how to guarantee a panic attack in the next 24 hrs -admit out loud how you think you're doing okay, you haven't had a panic attack in atleast three days, and it feels really nice to be calm and in control for once.- how to sob violently in the cab -drive through that one street, because yes its shorter, and yes you canjust not look out the window. but come on, did you really think that would work?- how to sob violently at home -kid yourself into thinking that you can handle that song/albun/movie/book.you cant; and you shouldnt. besides, didnt you already tell yourself to toss that out?
almost not there. winter birds are spreading inside ice laced rib(bird)cages. quiet whispers between
riddance.and lately i've found myself swallowing matchestrying to burn my insides for funto distract myself from missing you so much.its not working.
001 i am a whirlwind of bruised knees (purple) an aching heart (dark blue) twisted guts (red) & a regret that could crumble mountains. (green-green-green)
unlovenot all self harm comes in the obvious form of lines up arms or down thighsof throwing up insides and self worthinto toilet bowls with the soundsthat make you wonder how you're not dead.she picked at her lips constantly cracking and splittingpeeling and bleedingit stungmore than expectedand it bledmore than ever anticipatedeven after she's been doing it all dayshe drank her tea that was still steamingstill made her hands flinch from the far too hot porceline but she parted lipsand felt it force it way downburning and splittingher lips and throatbefore settlinglike molten in herash filled stomachtiny fingers pinching, squeezingpulling on skinmaking underneath itburstand bloomher blood like water colourexploding and spreadingand mixing overthighs and stomachsno-one thinks to noticethe bruisesthey're accidentalright?